Announcing our fall schedule
Want to get back on track this fall? Consider a goals group. Wonder if dreams mean anything? See for yourself at the dreams workshops. Could you use a day apart? Treat yourself to the fall retreat. Here are upcoming events for fall. Registration is now underway. I hope to see you.
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Mastermind/ Goals Group
A new short-term Mastermind group is now forming (the ongoing, original group is now full) to meet for three sessions only, once a month in September, October and November. A Mastermind group consists of four to six positive, motivated people who help each other move forward with goals, decisions, projects or challenges by sharing feedback, ideas and encouragement.
Each person gets about twenty minutes of the group’s focus, during which the agenda is up to you– sharing a goal, a decision you are trying to make, a challenge you are working through –and getting other members’ perspectives, all in support of your success.
Members of the current group have had success in areas including: growing businesses, fitness, starting a community initiative, relating to extended family, getting organized, considering big decisions, and good old everyday problem solving. Your agenda is always up to you. What goals or projects will you bring?
- Will meet at Halifax once a month in September, October and November.
- Cost: $49 on or before September 8; or $59 after September 8.
- To register, print this form , answer the four questions on the form, and mail with payment.
Dreams Workshop Series
Dreams playfully speak real wisdom into our waking life if we pay a little attention, and the Bible has many examples of dreams’ significance. Explore dreams in different ways in this three-part series, including dream theater (acting out a dream) and Gestalt dreamwork if there is interest. If you participated in this series before, you are welcome back; with dreams, the material’s always new.
- Meets on three Mondays: September 26, October 17 and November 21, 6:30 -8:30 p.m.
- Cost: $39 on or beforeSeptember 12, $49 thereafter.
- To register, print this form and mail with payment.
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Creative Day Apart Retreat
Come apart from the clutter of life to an October morning set apart for something different. A lovely home in a quiet setting offers space for reflection. We’ll guide you in a few simple, creative endeavors that encourage deeper listening within yourself and with God on this half-day retreat.
Chris Butterworth of Halifax will co-facilitate this event with Hudson. Butterworth brings a wealth of retreat experience and a passion for helping others discover their gifts.
- Saturday, October 22, 9:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at 484 Mountain Road, Halifax
- Led by Chris Butterworth and Ami Hudson
- Cost: $35 on or before October 8 or $45 after October 8
- To register, print this form , complete and mail with payment.
Finding Balance
Locally organized Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) will host Ami Hudson for an October 12 program, “Finding Balance: How not to lose yourself as responsibilities grow.”
- For further information about MOPS, contact Molly Kemp at mkemp621@hotmail.com or see www.mops.org
Biblical Herb Gardens
Learn about herbs found in the Bible and their relevance to the times with some historical facts and folklore thrown in, plus how to make a Biblical Herb Garden in your own yard. Led by Marjani “Rev” Dele, Ami Hudson and Kathy Conner Cornell, this Saturday Garden Forum also includes “Making Herbal Vinegars” with Cornell. In cooperation with the Halifax County Master Gardeners and held at the Southern Virginia Higher Education Center, the Garden Forum is set for
- Saturday, November 5, 9:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m.
- To register ($15), contact the Southern Virginia Higher Education Center’s College for Life Long Learning
Questions?
For more information or to register for events, call (434) 476-4111 or sign up for updates at www.AmiHudson.com. You may also click here to contact Ami. Ami Hudson, M.Div. is a Christian spiritual director who offers sessions for individuals and couples, workshops, speaking and retreats through her office at Halifax, VA.
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How friends strengthen marriage
Earlier this month I came across this article by Katherine Rosman, “Why Friends Help Strengthen a Marriage.” She asks a group of couples who are friends, “Why is time spent with friends so good for a marriage?” and writes what they came up with. Check it out. Maybe it will encourage us to make more time for getting together with friends this summer.
Becoming Franciscan
You might not know it by looking at them. They don’t wear the hooded brown robe. But Lynne and Bill Quackenbush of Halifax County were professed to the Secular Franciscan Order Sunday, April 10 in a service outside Greensboro after three years of study, prayer and preparation. Then they returned to their active lives among us here in Halifax County.
You don’t have to be single or celibate to join the Secular Franciscan Order, nor do you live in a monastery. Secular Franciscans include married people as well as unmarried, women and men. They live in their homes with their families and go about their work in the world, hence “secular.”
What, then, distinguishes Secular Franciscans from average people in the pews? Members of an official order of the Catholic Church, Secular Franciscans make a lifelong commitment to live the Gospel. They profess a Rule of life which guides their group’s values and principles. Members meet in their local fraternity regularly for ongoing formation. They draw inspiration from St. Francis– “the closest imitator of Christ that I know,” said Bill– and from St. Clare.
Their Story
Lynne and Bill Quackenbush came to Halifax County in 2005. They thought they’d retire to the Shenandoah Valley, but the rolling hills of Halifax won out since one of their daughters, Tracy Q. Martin, lives locally (two other adult children Bill and Jennifer live on the west coast).
While each is originally from New York, Lynne and Bill met in Scottsdale, Arizona, where Lynne’s sister worked with Bill at American Airlines. Once the introduction was made, “We just knew,” said Lynne, a career nurse who served in a hospital emergency room and at a wound care center. Meanwhile, Bill’s work with American Airlines (in sales, management and relating to government and military) took the couple to Utah and Texas.
They weren’t always churchgoers. Bill was born Catholic and attended Catholic school, but was away from the Church for over thirty years. If the subject of God came up, “I would change the subject or leave the conversation,” Bill said. “I was a decent person and not anti-faith, but didn’t think I needed God to control life.”
When their daughter was age seven or so, Lynne (raised Presbyterian) wanted her to be in church and started going to Episcopal services. Bill would join them at Christmas and Easter.
In the late 1990’s while home recuperating from back surgery, Bill felt “a calling- a need to do something different.” He told Lynne he wanted to speak to a priest and “the weight of the world came off my shoulders.” Feeling “fresh, alive” and happy, Bill’s experience led the couple to the Catholic Church, which under Vatican II had changed a lot in the thirty years Bill was away (the mass was now said in English rather than Latin and laypeople were more involved in worship and ministry).
The Quackenbushes became enthusiastically involved at their Texas church as lectors, ushers, and leading premarital couples counseling. Participation in the lay renewal movement Cursillo (”a great group of people”) may have planted a seed for seeking deep spiritual community again later as Secular Franciscans.
Becoming Secular Franciscans
After moving to Halifax County, Bill came across “a tiny article” in Catholic Virginian magazine about a Secular Franciscan group at Rocky Mount,VA. Their interest sparked, he and Lynne later found the Greensboro group,went to an orientation, and started going as candidates.
At first Lynne wasn’t sure the Secular Franciscan Order would change their lives much. They were already leading lives of prayer, simplicity, compassion, worship and ministry. She asked Greensboro SFO leader Frank Massey, “What is going to be the difference?”
His answer as Lynne recalls: ‘You will be surrounded by like-minded people.’
Massey was right. “We have found so much with the Franciscans– it’s just amazing,” says Lynne.
Monthly meetings with the 46-member Greensboro fraternity begin at 10:30 on Sunday with mass, lunch and a meeting. The meeting involves prayer, Bible study, an educational or spiritual growth experience, and business. Members also have some laughs– St. Francis himself was joyful, after all.
Members range in age from 40’s to 80’s (they would like to attract more young members) and come from different walks of life- teachers, a real estate developer, a former New York police officer, a textiles executive. Lynne and Bill are two of seven new members professed this year.It is not unusual for couples to be in the order together, but neither is it the norm (there are eight couples currently). Lynne and Bill travel the furthest– just under two hours.
Foundational to their way of life are “Four Pillars”– spirituality, formation, fraternity and apostolate (outward ministry). They strive to live “from Gospel to life and life to Gospel” by helping others and imitating Jesus.
Secular Franciscans minister largely by being a good presence. The impact? “If 14,000 people do that, and do it in a humble and joyful manner, it makes a bit of an impact,” said Massey. One of their members won the national fraternity’s Peace Award for his role in Greensboro’s civil rights movement. The group also sends a delegation to El Salvador once a year for service and building projects. They take food to a Greensboro area shelter and are involved with immigration, international hunger and medical outreach.
The Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
A social justice emphasis takes some Franciscans to Washington to advocate for the poor and marginalized. Some in the Greensboro group have been a voice to Hollywood, successfully urging sponsors to pull ads from the tv comedy series “Two and a Half Men” due to the immoral lifestyle portrayed in a household with a young boy.
Despite good works, Secular Franciscans are not holier-than-thou. “To be Franciscan is a wonderful thing, but it doesn’t put us up the totem pole higher than anyone else,” said Massey over his cell phone, just in from getting groceries after clearing his driveway of limbs after a storm.
Locally, Lynne and Bill Quackenbush are members of St. Paschal Catholic Church in South Boston where they have been active in parish leadership, worship and service. Each also visits and takes communion to shut-ins. Lynne is part of a craft group and the Red Hats, and has sewn costumes for Halifax County Little Theater. Bill is involved with the church’s Stations of the Cross during Lent. In the wider community he is a leader and volunteer with Good Samaritan and enjoys metal-detecting with the Halifax County Coin and Relic Club.
Their priest, Rev. Fr. John Kazibwe said, “Both have been an asset to our Church. I personally congratulate them upon their decision to become professed Secular Franciscans. May the Almighty God sustain them in their new commitment.”
Advice to others considering religious life? “Try it if you have the opportunity. There is nothing to lose. It will make your life better,” Bill said. For more information, contact Lynne or Bill Quackenbush at (434) 572- 8117, or Franciscan Family of Greensboro leader Frank Massey at (336) 299-5038. The National Fraternity’s website is http://www.nafra-sfo.org
Not Catholic? There are also Anglican Secular Franciscans as well as ecumenical Franciscan orders.
Making Sense of Your Dreams
Are dreams nonsense or do they mean something? An April 7 workshop in Halifax acts on the belief that dreams are worth considering. Chaplain and spiritual director Ami Hudson, M.Div. will lead a process for exploring–and hopefully drawing meaning from– dreams. Attendees may participate or just observe during the one-hour workshop offered at mid-day and repeated in the evening.
“We receive guidance through dreams,” says Hudson. “Inventions, great ideas, inspiration, works of art and solutions to tough problems have come to people that way.”
But many of us don’t take them seriously. “Too often dreams are treated like junk mail or spam,” says Sister Carol Davis, OP– a counselor, teacher and retreat leader in upstate New York whose dreams-retreat Hudson recently attended at Durham, NC. “We need to pay attention or else we miss a lot.”
What to expect
What exactly will happen in the Halifax workshop? “It’s easygoing and conversational,” says Hudson– a process participants can use among friends. “We’ll explore a dream by asking the person to tell the dream like they’re telling a story and to give it a title. Then I’ll ask some questions about the feelings involved, what they are most curious about, or what stood out.” Others from the group will be invited to share observations and impressions of the dream– not as interpretation but just as input to consider. “We don’t ‘interpret’ other people’s dreams,” cautions Hudson. “Only the dreamer can know what a dream means to them. The rest of us only help explore it.”
Mary Helen Stafford of Vernon Hill tried out the process with Hudson recently among a group of friends. ”I really enjoyed going through the dreamwork process with our group. Hearing the input of others in a constructive way was very enlightening. It was a good way to help make sense of even the most bizarre of dreams,” says Stafford.Attention to dreams started at a young age for Hudson, who got the idea to keep a cassette recorder by her bed to capture dreams. “Most of the recordings turned out mumbled and unintelligible though,” she laughs. During seminary she studied Gestalt Pastoral Care, which includes a therapeutic approach to working with dreams. In recent years she has taught about dreams locally at her Halifax office, for the Southern Virginia Higher Education Center, and for The Prizery’s “Affair of the Arts” event.
A Christian spiritual director, Hudson is self-employed and meets with individuals at her Halifax office to help navigate through life. She also offers couples sessions, speaking, sermons and retreats.
If you go
“Making Sense of Your Dreams” will be offered at noon and again at 7 p.m. Light refreshments are planned and participants in the noon workshop may feel free to bring their lunch. “I’m hoping people who work nearby may be able to join us around their lunch break,” said Hudson.
The event is set for Thursday, April 7 at Hudson’s office on North Main Street in Halifax with a choice of times, Noon-1:00 or 7-8:00 pm. Participants should register for the workshop ($5) by Tuesday 4/5 by calling Hudson at 476-4111 or online at www.AmiHudson.com indicating a preference of noon or 7 p.m.
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Register online here
Or call (434) 476-4111 or contact us.
Look for the good in each other
Do the best things about your relationship get lost in the shuffle of everyday life? Here’s an easy way to take a moment for the two of you every day. Just ask each other, “What did you like about our relationship today?”
Maybe you liked it when he took the initiative to call your mom. Maybe he appreciates your helping towards the household income. Maybe it meant a lot to her that you helped the kids with homework or did the shopping on your way home. Maybe he thought you looked absolutely terrific. But you both forgot to mention it during the course of the day. Well, now’s your chance– don’t miss it.
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Daily dialogue involves setting aside a few minutes to reflect on what you liked in your relationship today. It sparks discussion about the relationship, not just the day’s tasks, and reinforces your desire for communication, connection and vitality.
Turn off the TV, computer and phone and give your full attention. Focus on the good qualities in each other and share what you liked about each other today. Most of us have many good qualities and praiseworthy actions that mean a lot in relationships. But we don’t look for them and barely take time to mention them. So go ahead, ask each other: “What did you like about our relationship today?”
Fishing for compliments? Maybe. But it’s better than starving for them! Too many relationships suffer from lack of nurture. We neglect to value what we intended to cherish. Seek out what’s good between you so you won’t lose sight of it among the mundane.
While many of us discuss the activities of our day, we have a harder time communicating our feelings. Daily dialogue should focus on your feelings “about each other and your lives together,” according to Prepare-Enrich, a marriage preparation and enrichment program based in Minneapolis that promotes daily dialogue in their workbook for couples.
Another benefit of daily dialogue: knowing you’re going to talk about this keeps you looking for the good in each other. This is useful when the dishes pile up, the schedule’s tight, the garbage can’s full, the light bulb burns out, there are 8 calls to return, 3 big decisions to make, 2 projects due, and it’s time to pick up dog food again.
Want to extend the conversation constructively? Prepare-Enrich suggests two additional questions. After “What did I like about us today?” follow up with “What did I dislike?” and “How can we be helpful to each other?” While the questions may take a little courage, they are straightforward and lead to valuable discussion about your relationship.
You’ll regain each other’s affection with daily words of appreciation. And you’ll probably be surprised how much they do value about you.