Look for the good in each other
Do the best things about your relationship get lost in the shuffle of everyday life? Here’s an easy way to take a moment for the two of you every day. Just ask each other, “What did you like about our relationship today?”
Maybe you liked it when he took the initiative to call your mom. Maybe he appreciates your helping towards the household income. Maybe it meant a lot to her that you helped the kids with homework or did the shopping on your way home. Maybe he thought you looked absolutely terrific. But you both forgot to mention it during the course of the day. Well, now’s your chance– don’t miss it.
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Daily dialogue involves setting aside a few minutes to reflect on what you liked in your relationship today. It sparks discussion about the relationship, not just the day’s tasks, and reinforces your desire for communication, connection and vitality.
Turn off the TV, computer and phone and give your full attention. Focus on the good qualities in each other and share what you liked about each other today. Most of us have many good qualities and praiseworthy actions that mean a lot in relationships. But we don’t look for them and barely take time to mention them. So go ahead, ask each other: “What did you like about our relationship today?”
Fishing for compliments? Maybe. But it’s better than starving for them! Too many relationships suffer from lack of nurture. We neglect to value what we intended to cherish. Seek out what’s good between you so you won’t lose sight of it among the mundane.
While many of us discuss the activities of our day, we have a harder time communicating our feelings. Daily dialogue should focus on your feelings “about each other and your lives together,” according to Prepare-Enrich, a marriage preparation and enrichment program based in Minneapolis that promotes daily dialogue in their workbook for couples.
Another benefit of daily dialogue: knowing you’re going to talk about this keeps you looking for the good in each other. This is useful when the dishes pile up, the schedule’s tight, the garbage can’s full, the light bulb burns out, there are 8 calls to return, 3 big decisions to make, 2 projects due, and it’s time to pick up dog food again.
Want to extend the conversation constructively? Prepare-Enrich suggests two additional questions. After “What did I like about us today?” follow up with “What did I dislike?” and “How can we be helpful to each other?” While the questions may take a little courage, they are straightforward and lead to valuable discussion about your relationship.
You’ll regain each other’s affection with daily words of appreciation. And you’ll probably be surprised how much they do value about you.
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Sweet Talk– a moment for the two of you
Could the two of you use a romantic evening away to look into each other’s eyes with easygoing conversation about what matters most? How about doing so over custom-made desserts and hot coffee in a cozy setting by candlelight?
This Thursday, Ami and Brandon Hudson will lead “Sweet Talk– a moment for the two of you” held at Molasses Grill and featuring Chef Steve’s special desserts.
During dessert, Ami and Brandon will guide you in relaxed conversation between you and your date, sharing a few tips towards a sweeter forever. This is an opportunity to slow down and focus on one another. What’s said is just between you– participants will not be asked to share with the group. No matter how long you’ve been together, you’ll benefit from intentional reflection on your relationship.
“It’s easy to get caught up in a routine and take your sweetheart for granted,” says Ami Hudson. “We wanted to set aside time for couples to focus on the good in one another and to come away even closer and stronger.”
The leaders hope that the event’s impact will outlast Valentine’s Day. “The box of chocolates will soon be eaten and the flowers will wilt in days, but the intimacy will last forever,” says Brandon Hudson.
Facilitators
Ami Hudson is a chaplain and spiritual director who meets with people at her office in the town of Halifax. Brandon Hudson is an attorney and mediator with an interest in healthy relationships. Together they offer private educational sessions for couples seeking enrichment.
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Join us
“Sweet Talk” will be held at 7:30 pm Thursday, February 10 at Molasses Grill in Halifax. Pre-paid registration is required ($15/person) by 2/9. To register, contact Ami Hudson at 476-4111.
Payment
Please CALL BEFORE PURCHASING (476-4111) to make sure space is available. You may also call to arrange bringing payment by our office.
“Power Thoughts” workshop to focus on better thinking
UPDATE: Due to weather, the “Power Thoughts” Workshop is RESCHEDULED to Tuesday, January 18 at Noon and repeated at 7:00 p.m. Both groups are currently FULL but please call (434) 476-4111 to check for cancellations.
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Can “power thoughts” help you towards your goals and make you happier and healthier? Ami Hudson thinks so, and will host a free “Power thoughts & Affirmations” workshop Tuesday to show you how. “Affirmations can be goal-specific, so bring your New Year’s resolutions and try it out,” Hudson says.
“Over the years we can take on limiting ideas and negative beliefs - about life and about our ability to achieve things. Affirmations are positive statements and beliefs that inspire us and bring better experiences to our lives. They replace doubt, cynicism, or defeat. They assert the best of who you are and how you want to experience life,” says Hudson.
Examples? Replace ‘It’s too late’ with ‘There is plenty of time.’ Or change ‘I’m overweight” to ‘I am becoming my perfect weight.’ “It’s a small change in words, but a different way of thinking,” says Hudson. “Most of us could benefit from speaking more kindly to ourselves–and besides, it works. Our words and beliefs matter, so why not make them positive and affirming?.”
“Power thoughts & Affirmations” will be offered at noon and again at 7 p.m. Participants in the noon workshop may feel free to bring their lunch. “I’m hoping people who work nearby may be able to join us around their lunch break,” said Hudson.
Hudson is a Christian spiritual director which she described as “your personal chaplain to help you navigate through life.” She has taught religion and lifelong learning courses at the Southern Virginia Higher Education Center and has served as career coach at Halifax County High School. Her website is www.AmiHudson.com and her office is in Halifax.
This workshop is the third in a monthly “Best Self” series hosted by Hudson. Topics for upcoming months include: 5 Things for Couples, Getting Serious about Laughter, and Making Sense of your Dreams. “I chose topics that have benefitted me, and I hope they will contribute to others’ well-being too,” said Hudson. Recent workshops were “Balance your Life” in November and “20 Minutes of Quiet” last month.
“Power Thoughts & Affirmations” is set for Tuesday, January 11 at Hudson’s office on North Main Street in Halifax with a choice of times, Noon-1:00 or 7-8:00 pm. Participants should register for the free workshop by Friday, 1/7 by calling Hudson at 476-4111 or by e-mail to ami@pure.net, indicating a preference of noon or 7 p.m. Leave an e-mail address if you want notification of upcoming workshops, which run through April.
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‘Quiet’ workshop to soothe holiday hysteria
December can be hectic, so don’t miss this opportunity to savor a little peace and quiet. “20 Minutes of Quiet” await you at Halifax next Tuesday, December 7. A fan of quiet, Ami Hudson, M.Div. is hosting the free event.
“Our spirits long for unfilled space,” said Hudson. “So we’ll make believe we have nowhere to go and nothing to do. Hopefully we’ll come away more centered, peaceful and calm.”
That may be harder than it sounds. Even when we’re still and quiet, our minds stay busy going over to-do lists or this morning’s awkward conversation. “We’ll share some ways of quieting our busy minds,” said Hudson. “We want to stay in the ‘here and now’ instead of being constantly onto the next thing.”
Practicing some quiet has always been important “to clear my mind and to help me sleep,” said Sharron Warren of South Boston–a nurse and owner/designer of Beach Babe’s Jewelry. “With the holiday season upon us we all need to take a few moments to just be quiet. Take time to sit with your eyes shut and think about what is important to you. I feel when I take care of myself I can better take care of others,” said Warren.
“20 Minutes of Quiet” will be offered at noon and again at 7 p.m. Participants in the noon workshop may feel free to bring their lunch. “I’m hoping people who work nearby may be able to join us around their lunch break,” said Hudson.
Hudson is a Christian spiritual director which she described as “your personal chaplain to help you navigate through life.” Her website is www.AmiHudson.com and her office is in Halifax. She has taught religion and lifelong learning courses at the Southern Virginia Higher Education Center and has served as career coach at Halifax County High School.
This event follows November’s “Balance Your Life” workshop and is the second in a monthly “Best Self” workshop series hosted by Hudson. Topics for upcoming months include: Power Thoughts & Affirmations, 5 Things for Couples, Getting Serious about Laughter, and Making Sense of your Dreams. “I chose topics that have benefitted me, and I hope they will contribute to others’ well-being too,” said Hudson.
“20 Minutes of Quiet” is set for Tuesday, December 7 at Hudson’s office on North Main in Halifax with a choice of times, Noon-1:00 or 7-8:00 pm. Participants should register by Friday, 12/3 by calling Hudson at 476-4111 or by email to ami@pure.net, indicating a preference of noon or 7 p.m. Leave an e-mail address if you want notification of upcoming workshops, which run through April.
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“Balance Your Life” workshop to focus on important things
Sharpening colored pencils for the workshop! Contact me if you want to come!
How balanced are the important things in your life? A free one-hour “Balance Your Life” workshop hosted by Ami Hudson, M.Div. in Halifax on Thursday November 11 lets you focus imaginatively on what’s important to you.
Looking at areas of life such as family & friends, career, health, money, personal growth, and fun & recreation, participants can see where things are going well and where things might be out of balance. “If you’re focused on career but missing out with friends & family, you can set goals to give more attention to that. On the other hand, if family responsibility is primary, maybe you’d enjoy some focus on your own personal growth, or fun & recreation,” said Hudson.
Familiar with the workshop, Jenny Hochstein of Pick-A-Pine Plantation said, “It was a real motivation to me to discover what the priorities were in my life, the percentage of fulfillment I was experiencing in my goals, what was interfering, and what I could change. This helps you put your life into perspective. I really enjoy working with Ami– she gently leads you through the process and encourages you to think things through.”
Hudson is offering the workshop at noon and again at 7 p.m. Participants in the noon workshop may feel free to bring their lunch. “I’m hoping people who work nearby may be able to join us around their lunch break,” said Hudson.
Hudson is a Christian spiritual director which she describes as “your personal chaplain to help you navigate through life.” Her website is www.AmiHudson.com and her office is in Halifax. She has taught religion and lifelong learning courses at the Southern Virginia Higher Education Center and has served as career coach at Halifax County High School.
The workshop is the first in a monthly “Best Self” series hosted by Hudson. Topics for upcoming months include: A Quiet Retreat in 20 Minutes, Power Thoughts & Affirmations, Five Things for Couples, Getting Serious about Laughter, and Making Sense of your Dreams. “I chose topics that have benefitted me, and I hope they will contribute to others’ well-being also,” said Hudson.
The “Balance Your Life” workshop is set for Thursday, November 11 at Hudson’s office on North Main in Halifax with a choice of times, Noon-1:00 or 7-8:00 pm. Participants should register by Tuesday , 11/9 by calling Hudson at 476-4111 or by email to ami@pure.net, indicating a preference of noon or 7 p.m. Leave an e-mail address if you want notification of upcoming workshop details in the monthly “Best Self” series, which runs through April.